


Of Puppies and Sex Symbols

by Rahn (Rahndom)



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-16 19:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/865996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rahndom/pseuds/Rahn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You need to stop wearing my old suits and making them look adorable, Baby Bird, I was a mean Red Robin and you look like a little doll.” Tim, seeing the challenge for what it was, decides he needs to prove Jason wrong. He can do mean and sexy, he can pull the ‘adult’ as much as his older siblings can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Puppies and Sex Symbols

**Author's Note:**

  * For [varebanos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/varebanos/gifts).



“You need to stop doing that,” Jason growled, eyes narrowing as he stared at his successor, who, in turn, just blinked his enormous, ridiculous, round doe eye at him.

No wonder the others melted whenever the kid was around.

“Do what?” Tim asked back, tilting his head in that infuriatingly cute way of his when his hair fell into his eyes and his whole body seemed to say ‘who, me?’ which made Jason want to kill something… or adopt a puppy.

Not that he would adopt a puppy, really, he knew himself dysfunctional enough not to submit any other living being under his erratic care.

What had he being saying again?

Tim blinked, his long eyelashes only framing his gigantic eyes.

Oh, right.

Puppies.

“You need to stop taking my old costumes and making them look adorable, Baby Bird,” he said finally, arms crossing over his chest. “I was a mean Red Robin, people cowered before me.”

A scowl started to curl Tim’s eyebrows.

How come they were so thin anyways?

Weren’t guys supposed to grow harrier with puberty?

“Your point being?” the younger teen asked, eyes narrowing.

“You look like a Disney Princess, dude,” Jason continued, shaking his head. “My cape never flared like yours, and my cowl looked menacing, like Big B’s, yours is so… bird-like-“

“It’s the same cowl, Jason,” Tim interrupted, huffing. “And the same cape.”

“If I didn’t know any better,” continued Jason, ignoring the interruption. “I might say you jumped out from an Anime-kinda world, or something, and you’ll sprout out some crap about love and justice and start shooting heart-shaped lasers out of your breasts.”

“What kind of anime did you watch?” Tim asked, scandalized.

“Not important,” Jason said, waving his hand. “The point is, you are tarnishing my memory by looking adorable in the costumes I designed to look menacing, Baby Bird, and it has to stop.”

Both teens stared at eachother.

“That’s stupid and a lie, Jason,” Tim said finally, shaking his head.

“It is,” Dick chirped, hanging upside down from the training room. “Remember that time you put on my costume?”

“Dick!” Tim hissed.

“You, in Dick’s skin-tight slut suit?” Jason guffawed. “Seriously?”

“It was an emergency,” Tim defended himself. “And it was dark.”

“Harley Quinn awww-ed at you,” Dick laughed, reaching to ruffle Tim’s hair. “You were adorable.”

“I was also suffocating,” Tim grumbled, rummaging through the cooler for some water. “It was too tight and your fashion sense still sucks…”

“Ow!” Dick moaned. “Don’t hurt my feelings, Tim, I’m fragile.”

“Sure,” the younger of the three sighed, rolling his eyes. “You guys seem to think I’m some kind of adorable bunny, but I’m a man too, you know?”

“Ah! My heart!” Dick mock-cried while Jason laughed.

“Sure thing, Baby Bird,” he said. “So manly.”

“I had a girlfriend!” Tim protested.

“And I banged Damian’s momma and Dickie here is the family’s manwhore, so what?”

“I resent that, Jay?” Dick pouted.

“I’m sure Donna and Kori resent it too,” Jason said, shrugging.

“Hey!” Dick protested. “This is not about me, it’s about Tim being adorable, which you are, by the way, Timmy.”

Tim gapped.

“Ooooh,” Jason mocked. “He’s gone all wide eyed and flushed. He’s like the cutest little cookie.”

“Isn’t he?” laughed Dick.

Tim growled.

“Don’t mind Todd and Grayson,” Damian grumbled as he made his way to the still-sulking Red Robin. “They will eat his words one day.”

“As you ate yours, Damian?” Tim scowled, whipping the water from his upper lip with the back of his hand.

Damian stared for a moment, flushing.

“I can make it quicker if you want,” he offered, hands going to rest behind his back in a classical posture of a nervous teen.

Tim raised an eyebrow.

“What would you want in return?” he asked suspiciously.

“What I’ve always wanted?” the younger boy whispered, his eyes falling to his bare feet. “You can’t say no forever.”

“I could involve Bruce and he would stop the gossip,” Tim reasoned, lips pursing.

“And create another sort of gossip of the pedophilic kind?” Damian offered.

They locked gazes.

Jason raised an eyebrow at their silence.

Dick watched with an idiotic grin on his face.

Tim sighed.

“What do you have in mind,” he finally asked, throwing the now empty water bottle to the trashcan.

Damian’s grin was positively wicked.

“I have just the thing.”

 

—————

 

Four hours later they are all in patrol following Nigma’s latest little experiment. Jason perched on top of a building, watching the city with Dick when Bruce decided it was finally time to make his opinion known of the matter at hand.

“He is going to get revenge on you two,” he said softly, eyes set on the city life below them.

Dick blinked.

Jason shrugged.

“We were just stating a fact, B,” Jason growled. “He’s an adorable cookie and will not be respected by his rouges if that continues.”

“He’s our special little doll,” Dick added, smiling. “It’s not our fault he’s sensitive too.”

Batman stared at his children – and yes, he was happy they were managing to act together without trying to strangle eachother – and the way they were completely convinced that by attacking Tim’s curious lack of masculinity they were doing a service to their younger brother.

He sighed.

“You don’t know what you are enabling,” he said finally, shrugging his shoulders. “He’s finally going to-“

“Robin here,” Damian called on the comm, interrupting his father. “Red and I found Nigma. We are moving in.”

“Don’t,” Batman growled. “Wait for us.”

“He might get away,” Tim’s voice replied. “We’ll be careful, so hurry.”

Jason raised an eyebrow at the sass Baby Bird was giving their boss, more so when Bruce did not bark another reply and simply started running towards his younger children, teeth visibly clenched in frustration.

“Let’s go,” Dick called, following Bruce in confusion.

“Going,” Jason called, jumping.

The two of them found Damian first.

It was pretty hard not to see Robin, arms crossed, cheeks red, eyes narrowed as he received a scolding from Batman himself, who seems about ready to strangle his son.

They stare.

“It’s not that bad, father,” Damian grumbled. “Timothy wanted to prove a point and I am finally achieving my goals.”

“You two are insane,” Batman growled, his voice more tired than his usual threatening hiss. “The last thing we need is another stalker going after…”

“Guys!” Tim called then, voice cheerful. “A little help here?”

Without a word, the four vigilantes entered the warehouse where Nigma had been hiding all this time, eyes easily growing accustomed to the low lights and musty air.

Batman took one look inside and decided to indulge his urge to facepalm.

Robin stared, his cheeks growing warmer by the second.

Red Hood and Nightwing gaped.

Nigma was bound by hands and feet, one of his shoulders looked bruised and a small scratch on his cheek was the only indication of any struggle on his part – odd for Nigma, really, he was a sore loser – but what really drew their attention was not Riddler, really, but the teen sitting patiently on his back, legs crossed, hair styled to perfection, red domino conveying his amusement.

That teen that, definitely couldn’t be Red Robin.

“Is that-“ Dick began, eyes wide.

“Oh,” the Not-Red-Robin said, smiling at them. “About time, Mr. Nigma and I were getting tired here, right?”

“I wouldn’t say tired, my dear, though my back was starting to itch,” Riddler replied, his eyes set onto one of the teen’s thigh – the one closest to his head, of course – and the black leather encasing it.

“What…” Jason whimpered. “Is that my…”

“What?” Tim asked, his lips curling maliciously. “This old thing? I found it laying around and decided to try it out, you don’t mind, don’t you Hood?”

And how could Jason mind, if Tim, their resident Baby Bird, was innocently lounging on top of Edward Nigma’s back, wearing one of his old Red Hood prototypes in all its black leathered, shinning gun holstered, knee booted, ass hugging glory.

Hell, even the red domino on his face made him look like a little predator imp out for some fun.

He felt himself choke.

“Red,” Dick whimpered, falling to his knees. “Why are you dressed like… like…”

“Hood?” Tim grinned. “He did say I couldn’t pull it off, and Robin suggested I proved him wrong, is it working?”

“It is, in my humble opinion of course,” Nigma positively leered, making Robin kick him in the head.

Red Robin scowled at the younger teen but did not reprimand him.

“Close your mouth, Hood,” Robin snapped, eyes narrowing. “You look retarded.”

Nightwing turned to Batman, eyes pleading.

“Tell him he can’t go out dressed like that, B!” he protested. “He’s a child! He’ll get attacked!”

“Attacked?” Tim laughed, running a globed hand through his hair, mussing it and making him look as if he had just stepped out of bed and, gods.

It worked for him.

Why did it work for him?

No, it couldn’t work.

“You are dressed like a slut!” Nightwing finally said, his hand reaching to smooth Red Robin’s hair back into some semblance of his adorable little brother, because Tim was a baby and could not go around pretending to be otherwise. 

“I’m dressed as Hood,” Tim reasoned, tilting his head in that motion that usually made him look like a lost little kitten.

But now…

Dick shook.

“Do not worry yourself, Nightwing,” Robin stated, helping Red Robin to stand from the still leering Riddler. “He has me to protect him.”

“As if I would let you, Robin,” Tim laughed, his voice throaty.

With immeasurable grace, Red Robin walked up to Red Hood, his hips swaying from side to side, fingers reaching to stroke his chin.

“Oh, and Hood, I can hear you gapping, it’s not cool,” he whispered before waving to Batman and making his way out of the warehouse. “I’ll go back to make my report.”

“Just go, before Al Ghul’s ninja snap more pictures,” Batman growled, throwing a Batarang at said ninja and knocking out three before the others made their escape.

Tim simply laughed.

The warehouse fell into silence as they secured Nigma for a quick police pick up.

“I must thank you both, of course,” Robin said as they prepared to depart. “Without your stupidity I would have never achieved my goals.”

“Your… goals?” Nightwing asked. “You knew he could pull this off?”

“Of course I did,” Robin shrugged. “I’ve seen Red Robin trade costumes with Catwoman on a dare.”

“What?” Red Hood growled. “When?”

“Oh, a long time ago?” Robin said.

“No wonder you two stopped fighting.”

“What exactly was your goal?” Dick frowned, still shaking his head at the thought that his baby brother, his Timmy, could turn into that sexual being at the blink of an eye.

Damian’s smile turned into a smirk.

“I asked him out, of course,” he explained. “He kept saying no, of course, Drake has always been quite shy.”

“And now?” Jason urged, thankful for his hood to hide his flushed cheeks and wide eyes.

“Now he agreed to go on a date with me if I convinced Alfred to modify one of Todd’s old costumes for his usage,” Damian said as he drove away. “So, thank you, you idiots.”

Bruce glared at his older children, his scowl clearly saying ‘I told you so,’.

Jason choked on air alone.

Dick whimpered.

“B-but, Tim…”

“Damian will not let him go now,” Bruce growled once more, he seemed to be doing that quite a lot since his youngest decided he wanted to add Tim into the family proper. “He is most likely planning their wedding in his head.”

Dick wailed in despair, rushing towards the cave to save his Timmy’s virtue.

Batman shot his grapple, ready to stop World War Three to break inside his own house.

Jason stood there, shocked.

Of all missed opportunities.

Damn it. 


End file.
